On my second day on this world, I hope to meet with some of the people who have played an important role in my life before. These people I haven't seen for a long time. Some of them used to be my lovers. Others, used to be my friends. None of them unimportant.
I remember Lucy. We used to be classmates when we were both studying at University. She and her boyfriend, Tom, used to come around my place very often. Lucy was an anorexic. During our two-year friendly relationship, I had never seen her eat anything. She had long blond hair and big eyes. Tom was constantly stressed. His eyes could never focus on anyone else's eyes for more than ten seconds. A clever man. They were both poor but happy. I was poor, too. We used to gather together in my house. I had no TV or a computer. I only had a dilapidated HiFi. We used to put some instrumental jazz on the stereo and make up visions of gangsters and low-life people fighting and murdering each other. The sound of the hammond organ would create a strange feeling of nostalgia of a time when we weren't even born. Nevertheless, we had never been able to identify with anybody around us. We were living in our simple but ideal world, a world we reluctantly created due to our inability to communicate with earthlier individuals.
Sometimes we would go for a stroll down at the park, just for a change. Not for long, though. Our world was too restricted to encourage us to make friends or even talk about everyday, mundane matters. No, no, this was not an ego matter. It was just a matter of social incompatibility.
When I was twelve, I had bought a cassette tape by the Kinks. Just a "Greatest Hits" compilation. I kept that tape for years, listening to it very often. I used to carry it around wherever I'd go. I once lend that tape to Lucy. When she went back home, her dad fell in love with the tape, since it reminded him of his youth. Lucy forgot about the tape and she only remembered it when she saw me again at the beginning of the next semester. She proposed to return it to me but I told her to keep it, since her dad was enjoying it so much.
Now, somewhere in Liverpool, there is a man who listens to this tape. It's scary. I wonder how I would feel If I come across this tape by accident, later in my life. I'll probably cry. It's the feeling of a world you left behind, suppressed it into the darkest corners of your mind. That's something that always makes me cry.
I have just arrived. My head still feels like a funfair gone wrong…
Where will I be? Whom will I meet? What will I say? How will I feel?
I need a sign of life…